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An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said the atheist. “How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?” as he smiled smugly.

“Okay,” she said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?”

The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”

To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don’t know shit?”

Not really a joke but this really amused me. I saw it featured on Ch4's "The Last Leg". The content is in the URL. You decide if you want to see it.



It does.

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Gary.

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-- RANGERS FC --


"Macintosh - We might not get everything right, but at least we knew the century was going to end." Douglas Adams.

An old man was on his death bed, and wanted to be buried with his money. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. "Here's £30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me."

At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed, "I only put £20,000 into the envelope because I needed £10,000 to repair the roof of the church."
"Well, since we're confiding in each other," said the doctor, "I only put £10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new X-ray machine for the paediatrics ward at the hospital, which cost £20,000."

The lawyer was aghast. "I'm ashamed of both of you," he exclaimed. "I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, I enclosed a cheque for the full £30,000."

Not a joke in the usual sense, but it amused us ...

A relative was telling my OH that her grandson Sam had got engaged to marry his girlfriend Ella. She added, however, that family members had agreed they must always call them Ella and Sam, rather than Sam an' Ella...

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MacMini (2018) OS10.14.6 (Mojave). Monitor: LG 27in 4K Ultra HD LED.
15in MacBook Pro (Mid 2014) OS10.13.4 (High Sierra);
15in MacBook Pro (2010), (ex-Snow Leopard); now OS10.13.6 (High Sierra); 500GB Solid-State SATA drive; 4GB memory.

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Gary.

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█████████
-- RANGERS FC --


"Macintosh - We might not get everything right, but at least we knew the century was going to end." Douglas Adams.

When Dickens’ Tale of Two Cities was first published it was serialised in two regional newspapers

They were The Bicester Times and The Worcester Times.

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iMac Retina 5k 27"
iPad Pro 128Gb
iPhone 5SE 64Gb
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AirPods
plus several other Macs around the house

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Took me ages to work that out.

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Blessed are the censors; for they shall inhibit the earth.
"Some day Dragon Balls could power the world!"
5893 posts on MF, not that I'm keeping count or anything.

The pope was in Liverpool handing out miracles when little Johnny came up and asked for help with his hearing. The pope put his hands over Johnnys ears, then asked him if it was sorted. Little Johnny said I don't know, its not till next Wednesday.

_________________
Gary.

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█████████
-- RANGERS FC --


"Macintosh - We might not get everything right, but at least we knew the century was going to end." Douglas Adams.

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James
Mac4Mac Founder
(use mac4mac as PW)

12.9" iPad Pro, Magic Keyboard, Pencil 2
21.5" iMac Quad Core i5 8GB RAM (Plex Server) ~ iPhone 15 Pro
AirPods Pro ~ Apple TV 4 (64GB) ~ Linksys Velop Mesh Wi-Fi

A little guy gets on a plane and sits on his allocated middle seat.
A few minutes later, a huge, heavy, mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep.
Twenty minutes into the flight, the little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he’s afraid to wake up the big guy to ask if he can go to the toilet. He knows he can’t climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do. Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes through the little guy. He can’t hold it in any longer and he pukes all over the big guy’s chest.
About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees vomit all over him.
“So,” says the little guy, “are you feeling better now?”

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MacPro (2010) quad core macOS 10.15.7
13" (2011) Macbookpro OSX 10.10.3
15" (2017) Macbookpro OS 13.3
iPhone 11 iOS16
Original iPad wifi