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 Post subject: Re: The joke thread...
 Post Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2017 9:37 pm 
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Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2010 8:13 am
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Location: South Midlands
Well, since it's Christmas (in 2hr 25min) here's the first cracker joke for this year:

How can you tell the difference between a buffalo and a bison?
You can't wash your face in a buffalo...



:roll:

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 Post subject: Re: The joke thread...
 Post Posted: Mon Dec 25, 2017 1:33 am 
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Hmmm, You can't roller-skate in a buffalo herd

Merry Merry and Happy Happy, One and All

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 Post subject: Re: The joke thread...
 Post Posted: Mon Dec 25, 2017 7:57 pm 
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ttclett wrote:
Hmmm, You can't roller-skate in a buffalo herd

Merry Merry and Happy Happy, One and All


Ah, Roger Miller - he wrote some great songs, but what the heck was he on at the time? :roll:

And best wishes right back :)

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If only we could put an extra memory stick in our heads as we get older....
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 Post subject: Re: The joke thread...
 Post Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 4:44 pm 
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Location: S.W. Wales
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Or maybe he isn't.


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 Post subject: Re: The joke thread...
 Post Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2017 1:22 pm 
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On an icy road on Christmas Eve, three slightly inebriated men die in a car crash and meet up in front of St. Peter.
“In order to get in,” he tells them, “you must each produce something representative of the holidays.”
The first man digs into his pockets and pulls out a match, lights it and says, “This represents a candle of hope.”
Impressed, Peter lets him in.
The second man pulls out a tangle of keys and shakes them. “These are bells,” he says.
He’s allowed in too.
“So,” Peter says to the third man, “what do you have?”
The third man proudly shows him a pair of red panties.
“What do these have to do with Christmas?” asks Peter.
“They’re Carol’s.”

----

Vicar Crumblebott was giving his sermon during the Christmas Eve service.
Suddenly, the electricity in the church failed and he stood in the dark.
He called out for the ushers to find some candles and they placed them around the sanctuary.
With a sigh of relief, the vicar reentered the pulpit, shuffled his notes, and muttered, “Now, where was I?”
A tired voice called out, “Right near the end!”


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 Post subject: Re: The joke thread...
 Post Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2017 6:22 pm 
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:D


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 Post subject: Re: The joke thread...
 Post Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2018 1:58 pm 
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Location: In a turkey shed.
Matt went to see his doctor and nervously asked if he had ever laughed at a patient in his business life.

The doctor reassured him, “In over twenty five years I haven’t laughed at a single patient because I always remain completely professional.”

With that Matt dropped his jeans revealing the tiniest penis the doctor had ever seen. It wasn’t bigger than a Duracell alcaline battery.

The doctor just couldn’t help himself and burst into uncontrollable laughter before composing himself and saying, “I’m sorry, I really am, I don’t know what happened to me. I promise it will not happen again. Now what is the problem?”

Matt said, “It’s swollen.”

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