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Highmac
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 Posted: Sun Jan 09, 2022 1:19 pm |
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Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2010 8:13 am
Posts: 2219
Location: South Midlands
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Bet you thought the holiday season was over... I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon this week. I’ll let you know…Caller: My wife’s in labour and I don’t know what to do. Operator: Is this her first child?Caller: No, it’s her husband... 
_________________
MacMini (2018) OS10.14.6 (Mojave). Monitor: LG 27in 4K Ultra HD LED.
15in MacBook Pro (Mid 2014) OS10.13.4 (High Sierra);
15in MacBook Pro (2010), (ex-Snow Leopard); now OS10.13.6 (High Sierra); 500GB Solid-State SATA drive; 4GB memory.
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loughor
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Posted: Sat Jan 15, 2022 11:08 am |
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Joined: Fri Jul 17, 2015 7:22 pm
Posts: 4073
Location: S.W. Wales
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i had to go out early in my car this morning but the screen was covered in ice. I didn't have de-icer or proper scraper so I improvised with a store discount card from my wallet. It wasn't much use as I could only get 25% off.
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jcturner
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Posted: Sat Jan 15, 2022 11:29 am |
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Joined: Wed Oct 06, 2010 2:17 pm
Posts: 3367
Location: North Hertfordshire, UK
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_________________
James
Mac4Mac Founder
(use mac4mac as PW)
12.9" iPad Pro, Magic Keyboard, Pencil 2
21.5" iMac Quad Core i5 8GB RAM (Plex Server) ~ iPhone 15 Pro
AirPods Pro ~ Apple TV 4 (64GB) ~ Linksys Velop Mesh Wi-Fi
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mfmpv
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Posted: Sat Jan 15, 2022 11:31 am |
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Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2021 6:21 pm
Posts: 30
Location: England
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Highmac
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Posted: Mon Jan 17, 2022 10:52 am |
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Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2010 8:13 am
Posts: 2219
Location: South Midlands
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Paper was boasting about a great article on pages 44 to 46 about curing insomnia. It really worked well. Halfway down page 45 I was fast asleep...
_________________
MacMini (2018) OS10.14.6 (Mojave). Monitor: LG 27in 4K Ultra HD LED.
15in MacBook Pro (Mid 2014) OS10.13.4 (High Sierra);
15in MacBook Pro (2010), (ex-Snow Leopard); now OS10.13.6 (High Sierra); 500GB Solid-State SATA drive; 4GB memory.
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Jonah
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Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2022 10:47 am |
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Joined: Wed Oct 06, 2010 7:51 pm
Posts: 7822
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I hope I win the lottery jackpot this week. I may be able to pay my gas and electricity bills then.
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I'm never wrong, I'm just less right on occasions.
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Highmac
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Posted: Sun Feb 20, 2022 11:22 pm |
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Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2010 8:13 am
Posts: 2219
Location: South Midlands
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An email just dropped from someone asking… if Apple makes a cer (car, for goodness sake ) will it have Windows? *There may be further lessons on how to kill a joke stone dead  And nobody noticed before I did - a week after posting 
_________________
MacMini (2018) OS10.14.6 (Mojave). Monitor: LG 27in 4K Ultra HD LED.
15in MacBook Pro (Mid 2014) OS10.13.4 (High Sierra);
15in MacBook Pro (2010), (ex-Snow Leopard); now OS10.13.6 (High Sierra); 500GB Solid-State SATA drive; 4GB memory.
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loughor
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Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2022 10:49 am |
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Joined: Fri Jul 17, 2015 7:22 pm
Posts: 4073
Location: S.W. Wales
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Who is interested in the new F1 season starting this weekend?
I wasn't ...
... but I am neeooowwwww!
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loughor
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2022 1:47 pm |
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Joined: Fri Jul 17, 2015 7:22 pm
Posts: 4073
Location: S.W. Wales
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I got home today and the wife was glowering at me. After a while, I asked her what was wrong.
"You ruined my birthday!", she snarled.
I don't know how. I didn't know it was her birthday.
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Highmac
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Posted: Wed May 04, 2022 9:15 am |
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Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2010 8:13 am
Posts: 2219
Location: South Midlands
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Chap in the pub spent a little too long looking at a pretty girl. He was approached by the large bloke who was with her and was asked: "Are you fancying my girl?'
The chap was sober enough to know that saying Yes could be a challenge and No would be an insult. He looked at the bloke and said: "I was just admiring your taste in women..."
_________________
MacMini (2018) OS10.14.6 (Mojave). Monitor: LG 27in 4K Ultra HD LED.
15in MacBook Pro (Mid 2014) OS10.13.4 (High Sierra);
15in MacBook Pro (2010), (ex-Snow Leopard); now OS10.13.6 (High Sierra); 500GB Solid-State SATA drive; 4GB memory.
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loughor
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Posted: Sat May 21, 2022 12:13 pm |
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Joined: Fri Jul 17, 2015 7:22 pm
Posts: 4073
Location: S.W. Wales
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My wife said she wanted something with lots of diamonds in for our wedding anniversary.
I got her a pack of cards.
She'll just have to deal with it.
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Highmac
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Posted: Mon Jul 11, 2022 11:08 am |
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Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2010 8:13 am
Posts: 2219
Location: South Midlands
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Penguin walks into a pub and asks for a pint of best. The penguin takes a gulp and turns to the barman... "Has my brother come in?"
Barman thinks for a moment and says: "Dunno mate... what does he look like?"
_________________
MacMini (2018) OS10.14.6 (Mojave). Monitor: LG 27in 4K Ultra HD LED.
15in MacBook Pro (Mid 2014) OS10.13.4 (High Sierra);
15in MacBook Pro (2010), (ex-Snow Leopard); now OS10.13.6 (High Sierra); 500GB Solid-State SATA drive; 4GB memory.
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loughor
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Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2022 1:35 pm |
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Joined: Fri Jul 17, 2015 7:22 pm
Posts: 4073
Location: S.W. Wales
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A-Level results time in the UK.
Congratulations to my niece who got the grades to do a Media Studies course, specialising in children's TV.
She got C B B C.
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Highmac
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Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2022 12:30 pm |
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Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2010 8:13 am
Posts: 2219
Location: South Midlands
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Not actually a joke but an incident that still makes me chuckle... Neighbour asked me to lend him a ladder to get at a blocked gutter. I said I'd come round and stand at the bottom to steady it as it was in an awkward position. "No, I'll get the missus to do that..." I helped taking it round to his house and just parked myself at the base. He climbed up and took the end plate off the guttering, landing me with the inevitable shower... yea, bad planning  . He came down chuckling. The chuckling stopped suddenly and his face went almost white when I said: "Bet you're relieved I didn't let the missus stand there... "
_________________
MacMini (2018) OS10.14.6 (Mojave). Monitor: LG 27in 4K Ultra HD LED.
15in MacBook Pro (Mid 2014) OS10.13.4 (High Sierra);
15in MacBook Pro (2010), (ex-Snow Leopard); now OS10.13.6 (High Sierra); 500GB Solid-State SATA drive; 4GB memory.
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jcturner
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Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2022 12:45 pm |
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| Site Admin |
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Joined: Wed Oct 06, 2010 2:17 pm
Posts: 3367
Location: North Hertfordshire, UK
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_________________
James
Mac4Mac Founder
(use mac4mac as PW)
12.9" iPad Pro, Magic Keyboard, Pencil 2
21.5" iMac Quad Core i5 8GB RAM (Plex Server) ~ iPhone 15 Pro
AirPods Pro ~ Apple TV 4 (64GB) ~ Linksys Velop Mesh Wi-Fi
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