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Highmac
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 Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2018 7:44 pm |
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Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2010 8:13 am
Posts: 2219
Location: South Midlands
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A gecko was employed in Las Vegas to handicap horse races, predict winners in football, and similar things. He became famous and was known as The Lizard of Odds.
_________________
MacMini (2018) OS10.14.6 (Mojave). Monitor: LG 27in 4K Ultra HD LED.
15in MacBook Pro (Mid 2014) OS10.13.4 (High Sierra);
15in MacBook Pro (2010), (ex-Snow Leopard); now OS10.13.6 (High Sierra); 500GB Solid-State SATA drive; 4GB memory.
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loughor
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Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2018 12:24 pm |
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Joined: Fri Jul 17, 2015 7:22 pm
Posts: 4073
Location: S.W. Wales
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The last fight with my wife was really all my fault. She asked, “What’s on the TV?” I said, “Dust!”
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Paw
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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2018 4:59 pm |
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Joined: Wed Dec 22, 2010 9:07 pm
Posts: 1572
Location: With the turkeys.
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The worse job I ever had was a forensic pathologist for the United nations, I was sent to investigate what was suspected to be a mass grave of over 10,000 snowmen. After months of investigation it turned out to be a carrot clamp.
_________________
MacPro (2010) quad core macOS 10.15.7
13" (2011) Macbookpro OSX 10.10.3
15" (2017) Macbookpro OS 13.3
iPhone 11 iOS16
Original iPad wifi
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BDAqua
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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2018 6:47 pm |
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Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2014 10:23 pm
Posts: 1738
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Paw, loined a new phrase/term. 
Last edited by BDAqua on Mon Dec 10, 2018 5:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Paw
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Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2018 9:57 am |
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Joined: Wed Dec 22, 2010 9:07 pm
Posts: 1572
Location: With the turkeys.
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_________________
MacPro (2010) quad core macOS 10.15.7
13" (2011) Macbookpro OSX 10.10.3
15" (2017) Macbookpro OS 13.3
iPhone 11 iOS16
Original iPad wifi
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BDAqua
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Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2018 5:13 pm |
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Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2014 10:23 pm
Posts: 1738
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crapday
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Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2019 6:39 am |
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Joined: Wed Oct 06, 2010 8:31 pm
Posts: 1418
Location: Glasgow
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My wife asked me if I wanted fed. I said what are my options. She said yes or F*cken No.
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Gary.
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-- RANGERS FC --
"Macintosh - We might not get everything right, but at least we knew the century was going to end." Douglas Adams.
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Gail
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Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2019 11:29 am |
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Joined: Tue Oct 17, 2017 11:09 am
Posts: 964
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A motorist in the U.K. was arrested yesterday after he crashed his car while swerving to avoid hitting an octopus he claimed to have seen in the road. Officials became suspicious when they couldn’t find any squid-marks.
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Paw
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Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2019 1:56 pm |
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Joined: Wed Dec 22, 2010 9:07 pm
Posts: 1572
Location: With the turkeys.
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_________________
MacPro (2010) quad core macOS 10.15.7
13" (2011) Macbookpro OSX 10.10.3
15" (2017) Macbookpro OS 13.3
iPhone 11 iOS16
Original iPad wifi
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MacBiter
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Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2019 10:59 am |
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Joined: Thu Feb 12, 2015 12:25 pm
Posts: 2992
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"Doctor, doctor, I seem to have become a pair of tepees overnight. What on earth should I do?"
"Relax. You're too tense..."
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"If it ain't broke, we can fix it" (© Tim Cook, Jonny Ive)
Core i7 2011 21.5" iMac 12,1 2.8 GHz 16GB RAM OS X 10.9.5 1TB SSD & 128GB SSD
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BDAqua
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Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2019 5:03 pm |
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Joined: Thu Jun 19, 2014 10:23 pm
Posts: 1738
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loughor
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Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2019 5:26 pm |
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Joined: Fri Jul 17, 2015 7:22 pm
Posts: 4073
Location: S.W. Wales
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Highmac
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Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2019 10:33 am |
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Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2010 8:13 am
Posts: 2219
Location: South Midlands
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? Ah one, ah two. Ah one, two, three, four... 
_________________
MacMini (2018) OS10.14.6 (Mojave). Monitor: LG 27in 4K Ultra HD LED.
15in MacBook Pro (Mid 2014) OS10.13.4 (High Sierra);
15in MacBook Pro (2010), (ex-Snow Leopard); now OS10.13.6 (High Sierra); 500GB Solid-State SATA drive; 4GB memory.
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loughor
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Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2019 1:13 pm |
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Joined: Fri Jul 17, 2015 7:22 pm
Posts: 4073
Location: S.W. Wales
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What did the drummer call his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two.
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Highmac
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Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2019 2:30 pm |
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Joined: Fri Oct 08, 2010 8:13 am
Posts: 2219
Location: South Midlands
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Nice one  (Resists temptation to edit own previous post) 
_________________
MacMini (2018) OS10.14.6 (Mojave). Monitor: LG 27in 4K Ultra HD LED.
15in MacBook Pro (Mid 2014) OS10.13.4 (High Sierra);
15in MacBook Pro (2010), (ex-Snow Leopard); now OS10.13.6 (High Sierra); 500GB Solid-State SATA drive; 4GB memory.
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